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We tend to have such high hopes for the holiday season. Dreams of leisurely shopping in stores filled with sparkling decorations and holiday cheer. Dreams of family and friends opening our gifts with surprise and delight. Dreams of our children filled with the spirit of giving. Unfortunately, what we all too often get are crowded stores filled with stressed-out surly shoppers, inappropriate gifts bought at great expense and children filled with the spirit of commercial greed. How can we have the kind of holiday we really want?
· Lower your expectations. False expectations can steal your joy - fast. Don't expect a Currier and Ives holiday. Currier and Ives probably didn't get one either! Expect a certain amount of stress and hurry as you prepare for the holidays. No matter how much you prepare, nothing ever comes off perfectly - try to find the humor in the mishaps and move on.
· Plan ahead. Spontaneity is great for summer picnics and walks in the park but not so good for holiday parties and gift giving. Start planning and shopping months in advance of the holidays. Be realistic about your time and money and consider cutting back on some of the things you've done in the past. You family will appreciate having fewer commitments too.
· Pass the giving spirit on to your kids. For many kids, the holidays are a time of GETTING not GIVING. Change that for your family this year. Gather the kids and make a list of everyone they can expect to get a gift from this year - then have the kids figure out what they can give each person. Encourage handmade gifts. Gifts given out of your wallet aren't really from the kids, are they? So let the kids earn their Holiday gift giving money. The lessons in giving and budgeting will last long after the last bit of tinsel is swept away.
· Make time for yourself. Many of us turn into holiday robots, filling our every waking moment with buying, baking, wrapping, entertaining, and rushing. As you plan for meeting your holiday obligations, schedule in a little down time for yourself…a long hot bath, a walk downtown to look at the decorations, or some quiet time spent reading aloud to your kids will recharge your batteries for the challenges you face.
· Delegate when possible. If you have older kids, consider enlisting their help in holiday preparations. Maybe the Christmas cookies won't be letter perfect and the office gifts will be wrapped with a little too much tape but your kids will feel great that you let them help and you will have scored a little extra time for the commitments you cannot delegate.
Remember the reason for the holiday. Fight the tendency to let the holidays become a proving ground for your hostessing, mothering or decorating skills and remember why we celebrate. Consider relinquishing some of your goals and just take time to appreciate what you have this holiday season…you may find that your family appreciates the relaxed you far more than the supper holiday robot.
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